Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Just Practicing.

A friend suggested I update this....
I was trying to make this blog relate specifically to just one topic. But I couldn't think of any one particular thing I wanted to talk about. I didn't want this to turn into just me sharing what I did today, who was a total witch to me today, or what boy I fell in love with. However, I do not have any topic that I am an expert on. And I have no talents that can be shared through blog, such as art, photography, etc. I don't know the lowdown on what celebrity forgot his or her panties today..... I'm not the most interesting person in the world, always doing cool things....
but i do like to write. so i guess this is just me practicing making my writing interesting.

i'm really not so interested in making it proper, or using big words. I want people to understand me, and HEAR me if ever I write for real for real. So yeah, I'll be writing about the normal boring things, but I'm trying to make it spicy. or stank, if you will.

I started dancing again! I've been making excuses as to why I can't return to dance for a good three years. I was always coming up with these reasons why it wasn't the right time. "I can't find the right class," "i don't want to dance under those circumstances," "i no longer have an extension," "i suck"... whatever. Then I remembered a conversation I had with someone. He was saying how I should dance again. the guy didn't REALLY know me like that. We were just in a situation where we were kind of living together for a few days (lol). don't ask questions. but anyhow, I was doing what I always do and counter every encouragement given to me with "but I can't because..." "see that won't work because...." ... and this guy says... "You're thinking too much, JUST DANCE". He didn't have to know me to say something that pierced me to the core. He wasn't the only person that has said something like this to me. Since then, many people have said that to me, and probably before then too, but it really stood out because he didn't know me and he could already tell I overanalyze everything. Overanalyzing gets in the way... if you THINK too much you don't have time to DO.

Although it was said in the context of dancing, it really shoots directly at the centerpiece of my way of living in GENERAL. I mean it took me a couple of years for it to sink in since I used to be really stubborn. (I am still a bit of a mule but I'm working on it). But when I was ready, I just went all up in it. When I was sitting here thinking I can't NOT dance anymore and at the same time countering it, my memory file brought up Mr. J. Elegido saying "You're thinking too much, JUST DANCE"... i took poetic license a bit with the memory and in my head i added a "dumbass" to the end for dramatic effect. He definitely didn't take it to that level. But it helped make the point to myself. haha. Sorry my brain is a little sideways...

I took a class with some familiar faces, and I haven't felt that good in a very long time. I'm sure it's been years. I realized that dance is the reason why I live in the past. I remembered all these good memories, and most of them were dance related. Life seemed better in general when I was dancing because I was happier. I can't believe I used to COMPLAIN about it. I'm sure if I do it enough, i'll start complaining again because that's just how life works. But at least I have the experience of knowing what it's like NOT to dance under my belt, and maybe that'll help put things back into perspective when I start talking crazy, like "I HATE DANCE".

The only way I'll say I'll never dance again is if my feet are guilty. Because everyone knows that "guilty feet have got no rhythm"....
(George Michael reference)

Life looks much better from the dance floor.

PS. Ryan Leslie concert coming up. expect to hear things.

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