I should have more faith in people. I used to put too much in people, and recently I found myself not giving people the benefit of the doubt when they are fully deserving of it. I was so stuck on the handful of people who did certain things to me that I'm not giving credit where credit is due.
I recently got a new phone and someone lost almost half of my phones numbers. I lost my most important ones, because I forgot that on my old phone I changed the settings for those numbers to be saved to the phone so I can change the ringtones for them. So I lost the numbers of the people who had special ringtones. With some of those people, when I realized I had to wait for them to text me so I could get their numbers due to the fact that I had no other way of contacting them I also realized that I'm the one who always texts them and that they never initiate conversation. So I assumed i'd just lose 2 or 3 those numbers for good. It was disappointing to realize that it seemed I was clinging to people who don't return the effort. I start that "story of my life" thinking. "Of course things are this way Leilani, it always will be, these people dont give a damnnnn about you, you're disposable".... Yeah well too bad I got I got a text from one of those people, just because they were in a sitatuation where they thought about me. Little surprises can change your whole outlook. These things happen sometimes and they make me feel horrible for not having more faith in them.
I'll tell you what I have completely lost faith in.... OTHER PEOPLE WHO CALL THEMSELVES "PROFESSIONALS" CUTTING MY HAIR! There was a HUGE poster in the salon of this girl wiht this hair cut that I wanted. It was clear as day. THIS CHICK GIVES ME A BOWL CUT THAT LOOKS NOTHINGGGGGGG like what I asked for. This somehow happens everytime. No matter who I go to, no matter what haircut I want, no matter how specific I am. There was one girl who cut it exactly like what I wanted and put a little extra stank on it so it would look better on me. She was AMAZING. and one day she up and left JC Penney salon and didn't tell NOOOOOOBODY. Ever since then I've been cursed. which is why Leilani is going to cut her own hair next time. When it grows out of this nightmare of a hairstyle. IM DOING IT MYSELF. I've already hit rock bottom with a straight up BOWLCUT. its not even LIKE a bowlcut it IS a bowlcut. So i'm 100% sure that there's nothing I could do that would be worse than this.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Oops. Fill ins about 2 GREAT concerts!
I promised pictures.
I lied.
My camera's charger is M.I.A.
SPEAKING OF M.I.A.
The concert was a phenomenal experience! The opening act was a band called Holy Fuck. Intense name. One that I wont say out loud. But their performance was pretty sweet, I liked their music and all... but it was hottttttttt, OH SO HOT. And crowded. And these girls kept trying to weasel their way up to the front so people had to build human walls / barriers with their crews to prevent these these people from slithering their way through to the front, pushing people who GOT THERE FIRST back. So that put a little crank in my 2 step (whatever that means... ).
But when M.I.A. came on... It was wonderful... she was so fierce she was wearing this gold sparkly hat that had... things .. hanging down from the side... and a gold jacket that matched and some purple tights and silver shorts.... and like a purple leotard with neon doodads on the front. Her backup dancers were so fierce. I love the colorful culture that M.I.A. brings to your eyes and your ears! ESPECIALLY THE EARS... I mean... the beats of her songs... like... I feel like I caught the holy ghost in church.... it was the secular equivalent of a religious experience. I couldn't stand still even though I was basically MUSHED against everyone else.
Let's talk about the audience situation... it was... bodies... upon bodies... upon bodies. Once again just like that time I went to hear Girl Talk at Vassar... I was covered in a collective sweat. College age kids mostly ... maybe some younger... all dressed like a rainbow puked on them ( I mean that in a good way, it was a beautiful thing) just... smushed together. everytime someone moved, the entire crowd had to move. the security guards had to salvage some people from the audience because people were getting literally crushed. Im sure that sucked for them, but I liked the situation, honestly. I always do enjoy being able to be that close to people without it being awkward. Because when I was dancing modern in high school we always had to be "all up on" each other and you kind of miss that when it's gone. haha as crazy as that sounds.
anyhoo...
skip to Jamie Lidell concert in NYC Sunday June 8
Ticketmaster told us 8 pm. Sash and I get there at 7:40 or something... and the guys are like... he goes on at 10. So I decide to see my friend, who just moved there. He was working, and he told us how to get to come see him. I was so excited to see him, but we didn't. Once we got off the train, we walked in the wrong direction for a LONG period of time (long story short) and by the time we realized that, we had to go back to get there in time for the concert.
Now we get to the concert.... The first act is on... I dont know who it was, but they assured me that if I wanted to I could become a singer for a band I could. and I'm sure i could learn to play guitar like that within weeks. I mean to me it sounded like PLING PLING PLING (airy dry singing voice)... i woke uppppp todayyyy and drank coffeeeee PLING PLING. But i forced myself to be into it because I was in the moment and I was happy to be there and live music makes me happy in any form.
Jamie comes on... wearing these pajama-ish pants. they were like black and cream soft... linen like almost... and they had a huge hole in the crotch. And a tshirt with a black blazer with gold detail on it. He looked great! hahaha! He's really really tall! his guitar player donned an evel knievel outfit, whilst the sax player wore a short silk robe with NO PANTALONES underneath i think. im hoping there was SOMETHING underneath. I kept trying to peek to see but I couldn't tell ( we were in the front row)
The performance was off the chain! The boy can sing! There's just so much energy he has coming out of his body he just can't contain himself when he performs. And he goes to his little... station where he records all his vocals and layers them to create these intense beats and sound effects. Once again... those beats... it was like a secular version of a religious experience! It really was like a journey. Those parts where he did all the layering of beats and such with his voice... I really truly felt like I was in a trance , and i couldn't stop moving. The audience was much different, everyone had his or her own personal space. the guy next to me was WILDING... THE HECK... OUT. I just kept seeing arms and legs flailing out of the corner of my eye. Then I caught his shoulder shimmying at a side glance ... CRACKED ME UP! unfortunately we had to leave a bit early to catch the bus back to pa. bad planning because TICKETMASTER LIED AND SAID IT WAS AT 8PM.
anyway. those are my two great concert experiences.
<3<3<3
I lied.
My camera's charger is M.I.A.
SPEAKING OF M.I.A.
The concert was a phenomenal experience! The opening act was a band called Holy Fuck. Intense name. One that I wont say out loud. But their performance was pretty sweet, I liked their music and all... but it was hottttttttt, OH SO HOT. And crowded. And these girls kept trying to weasel their way up to the front so people had to build human walls / barriers with their crews to prevent these these people from slithering their way through to the front, pushing people who GOT THERE FIRST back. So that put a little crank in my 2 step (whatever that means... ).
But when M.I.A. came on... It was wonderful... she was so fierce she was wearing this gold sparkly hat that had... things .. hanging down from the side... and a gold jacket that matched and some purple tights and silver shorts.... and like a purple leotard with neon doodads on the front. Her backup dancers were so fierce. I love the colorful culture that M.I.A. brings to your eyes and your ears! ESPECIALLY THE EARS... I mean... the beats of her songs... like... I feel like I caught the holy ghost in church.... it was the secular equivalent of a religious experience. I couldn't stand still even though I was basically MUSHED against everyone else.
Let's talk about the audience situation... it was... bodies... upon bodies... upon bodies. Once again just like that time I went to hear Girl Talk at Vassar... I was covered in a collective sweat. College age kids mostly ... maybe some younger... all dressed like a rainbow puked on them ( I mean that in a good way, it was a beautiful thing) just... smushed together. everytime someone moved, the entire crowd had to move. the security guards had to salvage some people from the audience because people were getting literally crushed. Im sure that sucked for them, but I liked the situation, honestly. I always do enjoy being able to be that close to people without it being awkward. Because when I was dancing modern in high school we always had to be "all up on" each other and you kind of miss that when it's gone. haha as crazy as that sounds.
anyhoo...
skip to Jamie Lidell concert in NYC Sunday June 8
Ticketmaster told us 8 pm. Sash and I get there at 7:40 or something... and the guys are like... he goes on at 10. So I decide to see my friend, who just moved there. He was working, and he told us how to get to come see him. I was so excited to see him, but we didn't. Once we got off the train, we walked in the wrong direction for a LONG period of time (long story short) and by the time we realized that, we had to go back to get there in time for the concert.
Now we get to the concert.... The first act is on... I dont know who it was, but they assured me that if I wanted to I could become a singer for a band I could. and I'm sure i could learn to play guitar like that within weeks. I mean to me it sounded like PLING PLING PLING (airy dry singing voice)... i woke uppppp todayyyy and drank coffeeeee PLING PLING. But i forced myself to be into it because I was in the moment and I was happy to be there and live music makes me happy in any form.
Jamie comes on... wearing these pajama-ish pants. they were like black and cream soft... linen like almost... and they had a huge hole in the crotch. And a tshirt with a black blazer with gold detail on it. He looked great! hahaha! He's really really tall! his guitar player donned an evel knievel outfit, whilst the sax player wore a short silk robe with NO PANTALONES underneath i think. im hoping there was SOMETHING underneath. I kept trying to peek to see but I couldn't tell ( we were in the front row)
The performance was off the chain! The boy can sing! There's just so much energy he has coming out of his body he just can't contain himself when he performs. And he goes to his little... station where he records all his vocals and layers them to create these intense beats and sound effects. Once again... those beats... it was like a secular version of a religious experience! It really was like a journey. Those parts where he did all the layering of beats and such with his voice... I really truly felt like I was in a trance , and i couldn't stop moving. The audience was much different, everyone had his or her own personal space. the guy next to me was WILDING... THE HECK... OUT. I just kept seeing arms and legs flailing out of the corner of my eye. Then I caught his shoulder shimmying at a side glance ... CRACKED ME UP! unfortunately we had to leave a bit early to catch the bus back to pa. bad planning because TICKETMASTER LIED AND SAID IT WAS AT 8PM.
anyway. those are my two great concert experiences.
<3<3<3
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Wondering if anyone will ever read this...
I want to go out tonight. The thing is as badly as I want to get out of the house, I don't feel like making the effort to get together with anyone because I have a feeling that the plans will fall through anyway. On a night like tonight at least.... rainy, ugly ... etc.
Also if I did go out.... what would I do? I mean... if we're being honest here... 20 is a crappy age to be in this area. All the clubs are 21 + except one called Montana West... apparently the dj there thinks it's really cool to play Spice Girls, and other songs of long ago. Things that are BARELY danceable. They need some serious help over there.
I mean I could hit Billiards... but everything is so far away. And gas costs money.
But on the brightside I'm seeing M.I.A. tomorrow. Can't get much better.
I guess for tonight I'll read about other people's adventures :-(
Also if I did go out.... what would I do? I mean... if we're being honest here... 20 is a crappy age to be in this area. All the clubs are 21 + except one called Montana West... apparently the dj there thinks it's really cool to play Spice Girls, and other songs of long ago. Things that are BARELY danceable. They need some serious help over there.
I mean I could hit Billiards... but everything is so far away. And gas costs money.
But on the brightside I'm seeing M.I.A. tomorrow. Can't get much better.
I guess for tonight I'll read about other people's adventures :-(
why?
I'm pretty sure last year's Disney Channel 's programming was 100% better than it is now. First of all... why would they trade late nightBoy Meets World, Phil of the Future, Life With Derek , That's So Raven , and Suite Life for... CARTOONS... those cartoons... are unenjoyable if you're not an 8 year old boy, who wouldn't be awake at such hours to see these programs. I can't be the only person who feels this makes no sense.
I am forced to be on my computer making blogs because there's nothing good on tv during my favorite hours of the day(night?)
we should protest.
moving along....
You make things worse when you try to be sly. See, my dog Chloe is on my bed and she's located in the spot to which I wanted to move my feet so I figured instead of moving her (cuz she'd probably bite me) I'd just bother her by putting my feet under her so she'll want to move... do you know that little monkeybutt made herself comfortable on top of my feet? now i can't move them...
I am forced to be on my computer making blogs because there's nothing good on tv during my favorite hours of the day(night?)
we should protest.
moving along....
You make things worse when you try to be sly. See, my dog Chloe is on my bed and she's located in the spot to which I wanted to move my feet so I figured instead of moving her (cuz she'd probably bite me) I'd just bother her by putting my feet under her so she'll want to move... do you know that little monkeybutt made herself comfortable on top of my feet? now i can't move them...
in more exciting and useful news... I'M GOING TO THE M.I.A. CONCERT THURSDAY. I will be taking plenty of pictures and will narrate for all those who haven't experienced the wonderfulness that is M.I.A.
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